Many people, if a brief survey of my Facebook page is any indication, never think about Canada. If they do, they just think it’s a place “somewhere up north” like North Dakota, except perhaps larger. A place with lots of snow and twelve players on a side when they play football.
Some of our fellow U.S. citizens wish the United States were more like Canada. You’re probably thinking this is about to become some article about universal health care (which is, at it’s core, a misnomer because even Canada draws the line at treating beings from other planets) but it’s not. What those people who want the U.S. to be moré like Canada are really wishing for is in its tractorage.
For instance, on Saturday, October 6, in the fun-to-pronounce city of Saskatoon (or, possibly, outside of it) those fun-loving Canadians set a new World’s Record for most combines harvesting a single field at once! It was as if the entire country stood up to throw away their polite persona and say to us United Staters, “Take that, You Skinny-Bacon Lovers! You Mexico-hugging Shatner-stealers!”
According to an article from CBCNews (without going to all the trouble of doing some research, I’ll hazard a guess that one of the “C”s in that stands for “Canada”), “more than 245” combines showed up to set the record. I would guess that “more than” means there were between 246-249 combines because if they’d had 250 they would have said “250”. My question is, though, why did the guy who was counting stop at 245? Why not count the other three or four that were apparently there? Maybe it was like sheep and he nodded off, only to wake up later when the combines were halfway across the field and who wants to count combines THEN?
“More than 245” easily breaks the previous record of combines harvesting a single field at once. The previous record, as I’m sure you know, was 208.
But it’s not all just for fun and games and getting one’s town’s name in the Guinness Book of World Records. I’ll tell you what else it was about in a moment, as soon as I get something off my chest that wasn’t so much bothering me as that I just noticed this article was about to be too short. Anyway, most of us like looking at a Guinness now and then (as opposed to drinking a Guinness now and then [which may be spelled differently but—if you haven’t noticed before now—I’m not that big on research]) and we appreciate the skill that went into the guy with most holes-in-one in golf, or the lady with the tiniest waist, or even that guy that used to blow up hot water bottles by mouth (until, I’m not kidding, dying during one exhibition of lung power). But I kind of feel sorry for the shmuck that has to peruse the new submissions. “Boss, we got another person here claiming to have the world’s biggest zit” or “Look at the size of—I’ll never sleep again!”
Anyway, the 245(+) combines were lined up not just in an attempt to make the record books, but to somehow raise money for a charity called “Harvest for Kids”. This I did look up and am glad to let you know that it’s a] a real organization and not just something cooked up to get the tractor-drivers out of the house and b] it’s a great organization that raises money to send kids to camp all around the world.
If you want to see what—let’s go out on a limb here and just say—249 combines in a row looks like, or would like to help send a kid to camp, go here: http://harvestforkids.com/.