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It’s that time of year when we file our Income Tax forms. I say “we” even though I mean “you”. I’m one of those annoying people who filed way back in January so my entire refund could be spread across the ski slopes of Breckenridge before most people have even found their receipts.

For those of you who are sweating the filing of your income taxes, here’s some words of wisdom from one “who has been there” is “down with the struggle” and “only wants to help”: file them.

I had this great speech all worked out in my mind, but I got up to go get something to drink and by the time I got back it was gone. I think it had something to do with “deductions” and “convertible debentures” and maybe a word or two about the “dog track” and “fleeing to Mexico” but it’s all gone now in the face of an ice cold beverage.

Why do we pay income tax? I looked this up on-line and found that we pay the income tax because the law was passed back in [note to self: look up year and insert it here] as a means of paying for [look up what it was supposed to pay for]. I think we can all see the wisdom of that and understand how the people of the time thought it would be helpful to the American economy. Now, with the wisdom of the ages, and aided by the 20/20 vision of hindsight, we see that the plan was not viable.

Why? Why isn’t the income tax a good idea? Is it the inequality of pay? The incomprehensible chart of possible deductions? No, you [go to thesaurus and find word that’s less insulting that “ninny”], the problem with the income tax is where we’ve been sending it: the government. I think we can all acknowledge that the government does almost nothing well, so why would we think they can be entrusted with large sums of money?

What, then, is the solution? Personally, I think we should begin by throwing a lot of tea into Boston Harbor. I’m not exactly sure what that would accomplish, but I like the idea because I don’t care for tea.

I think we could also write our congressmen (in care of their mistress, just to make sure it gets read) and demand that the entire tax code be re-written, preferably in crayon so it will be treated with all the dignity it deserves. Let’s encourage them to set one rate that everyone gets charged—regardless of income or social status—and then (and here’s the important part) make it a law that the government has to do what we have to do and live within its means. If there’s no money for a project or program … drop it.

I better go. I can hear the government lackeys pounding on my door before I even get this mailed out.

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About Sam White

Samuel Ben White (“Sam” to his friends) is the author of the national newspaper comic strip “Tuttle’s” (found at www.tuttles.net) and the on-line comic book “Burt & the I.L.S.” (found at www.destinyhelix.com). He is married and has two sons. He serves his community as both a minister at a small church and a chaplain with hospice. In addition to his time travel stories, Sam has also written and published detective novels, a western, three fantasy novels and four works of Christian fiction.

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