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It’s the popular thing for the drummers in church bands to sit behind bullet proof glass.  I wondered about this until I started listening more carefully to the drummers in church bands.  Now, I’m thinking they made a good call.

People in Germany are upset because the lyrics of a song were included in a language exam for high school students.  Translated to English, the lyrics are, “You are nicer than my neighbour and I expect in bed, I could do with you relatively much.”  I think we can see why they were upset, and it’s not just that they misspelled “neighbor” in the “funky, British way”.  Students should not be learning about their neighbors’ beds in school.  This is the sort of thing that should be taught in the privacy of the home, by parents who have left the kids attended to only by a TV.

The song, it turns out, is called “Relativ” (no, I didn’t misspell that, they did) and is by a group called “Wise Guys” who look like your typical boy band slackers except that it’s made up of middle-aged men.  I don’t want to paint all German people with too wide a brush but I think we should pay attention to any article that begins with “Germans are upset” because it was probably our inattention to such early warning signs that led to the last two world wars.

All the talk this week about how to prepare turkeys is making me sleepy.

With the “Twilight” series coming to an end, can we hope that the vampire craze will soon come to an end?

Probably not.  What is it that appeals to so many people about vampires?  It used to be that they were all well-dressed, so there was that.  Remember how Dracula would rise up out of his coffin in such a way as to make you think his coffin had been rigged up with one of those lifters like they have in the recliners at the care home and he would be impeccably dressed?  Black, out-of-style tuxedo, a cape with red lining, a medal pinned to his chest … what was the medal for?  Didn’t he otherwise seem like the kind of guy who wouldn’t really go for that sort of thing?  But now, Dracula’s got to look at the current crop of vampires and think to himself, “Casual Friday’s gone too far.”  Today’s vampires all dress like they stepped right out of the J-Crew Catalog and are on their way to be menacing if they don’t get distracted by an espresso or latte.  They also seem kind of whiny and self-absorbed, too.  I guess it’s the modern era but give me a vampire that’s more John Wayne and less Dr. Phil any day.

Trying to come up with the next bandwagon—so I can get ahead of the curve and make big bucks—I’m wondering if minotaurs will be the next big thing?  Or maybe jackalopes?  I’m thinking if I can make jackalopes sexy, my kids’ college is paid for!

I should probably explore this more but that turkey I’m going to eat on Thursday is REALLY kicking in and I’m about to fall asleep at my dezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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About Sam White

Samuel Ben White (“Sam” to his friends) is the author of the national newspaper comic strip “Tuttle’s” (found at www.tuttles.net) and the on-line comic book “Burt & the I.L.S.” (found at www.destinyhelix.com). He is married and has two sons. He serves his community as both a minister at a small church and a chaplain with hospice. In addition to his time travel stories, Sam has also written and published detective novels, a western, three fantasy novels and four works of Christian fiction.

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